Beth's Blog

Titles Disappear

7am Friday morning.

Brrrrring … Brrrring…. My desk phone rings. Staring at the caller ID, I see the words “General Manager” and my instinct is to leave. Fight or Flight.

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KIS Lesson 46: Follow the clues

When children talk, they drop clues about what is important to THEM. For example:

  • “We went into the pen with all the puppies.”
  • “We watched that Al Gore documentary in Geography today.”

The clue could be completely menial and boring – to you. Never overlook it or brush it off. This clue is a GIFT. It signals the communication channel is open and ready to exchange.

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KIS Lesson 45: Have a real conversation

The fastest way to get to know someone – properly – is by having a “real” conversation instead of superficial chatter.

Firstly, whoever asks the most questions is perceived to be the friendlier, more genuine person.

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KIS Lesson 44: Receiving advice

When someone gives you unsolicited advice, always respond out loud with a calm “Thank you for your feedback.”

Scream at them inside your head.

KIS Lesson 43: Giving advice

Only give advice (or “feedback”) when asked. Never, ever, ever give unsolicited opinion.

If you are trying your hardest to bite your tongue and yet feel an overwhelming compulsion to spray your opinion onto someone, try this instead:

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KIS Lesson 42: There's a time

There’s a time to be the listener & a time to be the talker. When in doubt, be the listener.

KIS Lesson 41: Stuff

Everybody’s brain is full of “stuff”. Thinking, pondering, wondering, worrying about hundreds of things, all at the same time.

Until telepathic powers are available to all of us, we will never know what people are thinking when we interact with them.

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KIS Lesson 40: What is love?

Driving in the back blocks of New South Wales, having just been to the funeral of my Mother-in-Law’s husband, a voice from the back seat piped up with:

How do you know you’re in love?

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KIS Lesson 39: We are Guides

When our children are babies, we require psychic powers to determine what they need, when they need it and what the problem is that needs fixing. Realistically, we are the magic fairies that swoop in to do things for them.

Eventually, young children start to be able to communicate with their body, sounds, then words and finally sentences. This is where we must stop being the swooping helicopter of solutions and begin developing our incredible patience. This young age is the perfect time to start sowing the seeds of self-sufficiency.

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KIS Lesson 38: No More Guesswork

“Do you need any help putting the ironing away?”

“IRONING? Help … with the IRONING? Do I need any more help with the IRONING? No, there’s no more to do with the IRONING.”

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KIS Lesson 37: What's the Lesson?

Often, children learn a completely different lesson than the one you think you are teaching them.

KIS Lesson 36: Violence

Violence when “mucking around” or “rough-housing” or “playing” is still violence. Nuances about what is / is not ok in certain circumstances is lost on young children.

The way our children are playing on the lounge-room floor ... is that the way we want them to play in the playground at school, with their friends?

Curveball

She stares at me with eyes full of wonder and asks imploringly "Mummy, will you take me to see the Northern Lights?"

I gently respond "I would love to take you to Sweden and show you the Northern Lights. It will take a lot of money to go on a holiday like that."

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KIS Lesson 35: "Just Joking"

Particularly when interacting with children:

A lie told when "joking" is still a lie. Forget the notion of "white lie" or "grey lie".

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KIS Lesson 34: Accolades

Never give false accolades.

Never tell our children they are the best in the world at something - unless they truly are. Praise their effort, instead.

KIS Lesson 33: Praise

Praise every challenge as an opportunity to learn.

Praise the effort our children put into an activity - irrespective of the outcome.

KIS Lesson 32: A Rock

Our job - as a parent - is to be a steadfast, reliable, stable rock.

We are to consistently demonstrate the values and behaviours we wish to instill in our children … no matter what they throw back at us or their attempts to manipulate.

KIS Lesson 31: Take Time

Before you make a decision (Lesson 30), take as much time as YOU need to gather as much information as possible. Talk to whoever YOU need to talk to, prior to giving permission or making a promise.

THEN give careful consideration prior to giving a decree. Once given, stick with it.

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KIS Lesson 30: Integrity

Do what you say you are going to do & stick with it.

Give your permission (or lack of) plus conditions & stick with it.

KIS Lesson 29: Excited

Your boyfriend should ALWAYS be excited to see you or hear your voice – no matter what else is going on in his life. You are the ray of sunshine and are always wanted.

If – out of nowhere – he stops being excited to see or hear from you… he’s not interested in you anymore. Don’t waste your energy making excuses for him:

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