Beth's Blog

KIS Lesson 63: Recognise the slippery slope

What are the top 5 things that you do – that you like to do – that you do virtually day in day out (possibly week in week out for some) that make you, you?

We all have them.

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KIS Lesson 62: Hobbies

If you want to meet people who like to do the same sorts of things as you, join clubs that do the things you like to do!

It doesn’t have to be the things you did in High School. Most likely, you are not that same person anymore – so why would you enjoy the same sorts of activities?

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KIS Lesson 61: Not feeling it

Where you KNOW the guy is keen on you and you KNOW you don’t feel the same back … tread carefully. You are responsible for giving no hope and NOT leading him on in any way. Don’t go down any path that could even vaguely be construed as a “date”.

YOU are responsible for not messing with his head ... because YOU are still thinking clearly & logically – he is not. His thoughts are clouded with emotion for you.

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KIS Lesson 60: Know when you are ready

Just because a guy has given you roses and cooked you a romantic 3 course meal, doesn’t mean you have to have sex with him. Stay away from the “I think he expects ….” trap – it will send you batty.

You always have the freedom to choose how you respond to someone else’s actions.

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KIS Lesson 59: Honesty

It’s ok to tell a guy:

“I’ve got no idea. My brain is a mess. I’m confused and I don’t know why. I thoroughly enjoy spending time with you. You are such a joy and a kind, decent guy. When we moved from friends to dating, I started feeling uncomfortable … it’s like I no longer know what to say or do around you ...”

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KIS Lesson 58: Dating

Going to the same events, functions, gatherings and hanging out all night while getting drunk … is not dating.

Dating is getting to know each other.

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KIS Lesson 57: More than a feeling

It is possible to find someone to like, enjoy spending time with, care about and love. That does not mean that they are the best person for us to move in with and build a life with.

Love is not enough.

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KIS Lesson 56: What you get, is what you get ... forever

Lets’ say your bloke’s idea of a great Saturday night is sport on 4 channels until the wee hours of the morning…. Remote control in hand.

If that’s his idea of a great night in the first few months of dating, he will probably still think that’s a great night 10 years on, 20, 30, 40 years on!

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KIS Lesson 55: Equal

A strong relationship is built on equality.

You both believe that everything the other person is doing, is equally as important as what you are doing. This gives a foundation for an inter-dependant relationship whereby both are working together to achieve more than either could do individually.

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KIS Lesson 54: Being Noticed

Sometimes we find ourselves buying a particular bikini to “get noticed” by a particular guy – or – looking for a special ball gown for the upcoming annual ball to “get noticed” by a special someone – or – we change the colours we wear or the style of clothes we wear … all in the name of capturing the attention of one person.

In reality, the guy who respects you, values you and appreciates you, has already noticed you – just the way you are.

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KIS Lesson 53: Zing

“Zing” is delightfully explained in the children’s movie “Hotel Transylvania”:

When you meet someone special, you feel a “Zing”. It’s in your heart, in your every thought and in the smile on your face. If it’s not there after the first date, don’t bother with a second.

KIS Lesson 52: Parenting is ...

... teaching our children how to drive their own bus to wherever they want to go.

KIS Lesson 51: Fixing

A message to my children, family and friends...

I’m not here to fix your problems for you.

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KIS Lesson 50: Flirting

When he’s crazy about you and you are the centre of his thoughts … he does not even notice anyone else. Flirting simply does not happen.

Walk away.

KIS Lesson 49: Judgements and Assumptions

Particularly in our late teens and early twenties…

Frequently when we meet someone new, we begin to explore the staple top 20 questions:

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KIS Lesson 48: "I need to focus on my studies"

Translation:

We’re breaking up.

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KIS Lesson 47: No

When we are in High School, progress through University and start our career, we are inspired to say “Yes”:

Yes – to every door that opens, because something amazing may be on the other side

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Stranded on a desert island

It must have been Year 10, 1992. The hot nights had cooled slightly, giving the crisp mornings and warm days of early Autumn.

On a Tuesday afternoon after school, at our hockey training field, our school’s B Grade Hockey team captain was to be chosen. The core of our team had played together for the previous two years. The first year, we were in Year 8. Year 8’s don’t get made captain. The second year, we had a brilliant player who played representative hockey at Queensland level. She was captain. In our third year, the excellent players were in the A Grade. So, it was us – a group of girls in about the same Grade at school, with about the same skill level.

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The Title is Gone... because I am a girl.

"You can't lead men. I think the reason you can't lead men, is because you are, well, a girl. And That's not something I can change. So, I don't know how to develop those skills in you because, well, you will still be a girl."

 

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The Title is not what you thought it would be

I know exactly why I went for it. I wanted to be the first. I wanted to be the first female Electrical Engineering Manager (EEM) in Queensland Underground Coal. It was the highest statutory position you could hold on any mine site for an electrical engineer. It was the top of the mountain.

It was possible. It was achievable. I had an employer who wanted me to have the title. My Manager was extremely supportive. He enrolled me in the training to gain the accredited competencies to hold the statutory position. He had hired me as the 2IC to the existing EEM and it was simply a matter of time.

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