Beth's Blog

When I wear this, do I feel sexy?

When I wear this, do I feel sexy?

Straight-up … when I say “sexy”, I do not mean sultry or siren or anything else along those lines.

I am talking aboutconfident, self-assured, focused, fun, funky, classy, clarity in my identity; I own my own space and nobody is going to take it from me.

I love that feeling! When I feel this way, as I go through my day, doing my thing – I emanate a strong, confident presence. Naturally, this has a positive impact on the interactions I have with people. It feels awesome!

Last night, I was getting my clothes ready for today and thought “Hang on, I know HOW I want to feel every day, so what can I wear that will help?”


A quick glance in my wardrobe, and my heart sank like a rock. I could see 3 types of clothes.

  1. My at-home housewife clothes. T-shirts and shorts, because the majority of my day *is* out of the public eye; with children or 30 second conversations with other parents at the school drop-off. Frumpy. When I wear these clothes, I look frumpy and I feel frumpy.
  2. Flash office gear. You know the drill; tailored suits, skirts, pants and shirts for business meetings – where the expectation is you dress like you work in a high-rise CBD office every day. Yes! I feel super-professional when I wear these clothes. Very empowered, powerful and confident. There’s a reason they call it “Power Dressing”. However, the reality is that my day is not just at a desk doing computer work. I’m a little over-dressed when it comes to laundry, cleaning out the kitty litter, dishes, emptying the compost etc. etc. etc.
  3. Now we’re talking. My “good” clothes; dresses, flowing, colours, patterns, soft materials, smooth lines. Typically they’ve been reserved for going out to dinner, Christmas Day lunch etc. I’m onto something, here. These have now received a free upgrade to “every day clothes”.


Next came the cull through the wardrobe, by asking the question: When I wear this, do I feel sexy?

Yes –it stays.

No –it gets moved to the back of the wardrobe.

Astonishingly, this process of elimination has revealed a startling problem (What is the Problem?): lack of resources. Time to schedule some clothes shopping time!


Takeaway: Wear the things that help you FEEL the way you WANT to feel.

Author: Beth Stansfield aka Queen of Excellence

Keep doing Nothing or start doing Something?
I want to win