I felt the tears welling, just behind my eyes.
The knot in my throat clutched onto my words, I couldn't speak.
My heart tightened, as I tried to breathe.
I felt the agony of watching an opportunity to fulfill a dream ... vanish ... due to something I did NOT do 10 days earlier.
2nd February 2013, I wrote a list of goals. One of them is 'Give a speech at my old high school.' I had limited public speaking skills, no links to my school and no idea what I would talk about...
I'm in Toastmasters, developing public speaking skills.
I heard about Days for Girls and started doing everything I could, whenever I could to support it.
The Queensland lead, arranged to speak about Days for Girls at the Young Women's Forum, held at my old school .... and then went away! A replacement speaker was chosen.
It was suggested that I do it instead... being young and an old girl. I hesitated. I did not want to bulldoze and take over from someone else. Fulfilling my dream was not worth creating a schism within Days for Girls.
So - the decision was made to wait, discuss it at a future meeting and choose a speaker, then.
Walking into the meeting, I thought the opportunity was still there. Within 30 seconds, it was clear … No - the nominated speaker considered herself still to be the speaker and there was no discussion. It was fait accompli.
The tears came as I was frustrated with MYSELF!
There was a millimeter of a crack of opportunity to fulfil my dream ... and I did NOT wedge my axe in the crack to claim it. I was more concerned about being diplomatic, not stepping on other's toes and believing the opportunity was still open.
I swam in the fear, instead of recognising the opportunity - in the moment!
An opportunity window can close and you don't even know it, until it’s too late. Be in the Now. Recognise it Now. Respond Now.
The next time there is the slightest whiff of a chance to fulfill a dream of mine ... I’m wedging my axe.