There's a fine line between feeling secure in a relationship, and feeling taken for granted.
Appreciation is a missing link.
I AM talking about showing appreciation - every day, even for the small things. Especially the small crappy things. We all have small crappy things to do in our day. Yes, they may very well be our 'job'. That does not make them any less crappy.
Imagine if the people around you said 'Thanks' - a genuine - 'Thanks for doing that', every day?
Every time you stay silent, your silence says:
'I expect you to do that, it's your job, so I don't have to thank you - you haven't gone above and beyond, so you don't deserve my thanks.'
Perhaps it is a difference on how we perceive the concept of Thanks?
For you - is it that you thank when expectations have been exceeded, so it is used as a form of congratulation?
Or is it appreciation, pure and simple?
When you say thanks, you are saying:
'Thanks for doing that - I appreciate it. I recognise the task must be done by some one and thank you for doing it, so I don't have to'
Usually when we are feeling taken for granted, the source is that we're not being thanked enough - in appreciation for the things we do. The flipside is - in a relationship - where one person is feeling taken for granted - typically the other is, too. This leads to a downward spiral of unthanking.
You can't control the thanks you receive. You can control the thanks you are giving.
Look in the mirror at your own actions.
Are YOU thanking enough? True, genuine, appreciation? For the little things that others do?
Start with that. Act where you have control.
Do you thank differently at home v. Work?