Beth's Blog

Pieces of me (lyrics)

by Beth Stansfield


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Gone (lyrics)

By Beth Stansfield


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KIS Lesson 81: Naps

If you put a child to bed for an afternoon rest, and she does not sleep, it means she does not need a sleep THAT day at THAT time.

It does NOT mean that afternoon sleeps are no longer required. Ever.

KIS Lesson 80: Cycles

Listen to your (and your child’s body) and respond accordingly. Stop scheduling eating & sleeping to a clock. Work around your child’s natural cycles. Go with THEIR flow & it will save you heartache.

When your child is hungry – feed her. If she comes home from school, famished, why not simply give her a dinner-sized afternoon tea? It’s what her body wants. She can eat a small snack of fruit or vegetable, later, at “dinner time”.

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KIS Lesson 79: Over-tired

Over-tired children are extremely difficult to get to sleep. They reach a hyper-energetic over-reacting state.

Do EVERYTHING you can to cut them off at the pass and get them to bed before they are over-tired.

KIS Lesson 78: Babies

Expect to be completely sleep deprived for AT LEAST the first 3 months. You will be a zombie.

Accept it and set your household up to logistically deal with this – before the baby pops out.

KIS Lesson 77: Comfort

15 year olds don’t walk the streets with blankies, dummies, stuffed toys etc. Children will easily and happily let go of their comforting item when they are ready.

A little suggestion ... a small “throwing in the bin” or “giving to the poor children” event to provide closure ... Done.

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KIS Lesson 76: Refusing to eat a cooked dinner

You’ve cooked up a lovely meal with a variety of ingredients and flavours. Your child refuses to eat it. In fact, she will not even try it.

So what do you do?

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KIS Lesson 75: Golden Rules

(1) Always have the ability to earn enough to support yourself (and your children), in the lifestyle you value. Maybe – just maybe – your husband will die or your marriage will break up. Consider upskilling (or remaining skilled) to be a risk mitigation strategy, much like life insurance.

(2) Know who you are, what is important to you and never compromise on those foundations.

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KIS Lesson 74: Can you keep a secret?

Some people can. Some people can’t.

It’s ok to be friends with someone who can’t keep a secret. Simple: Don’t tell them anything you want kept a secret and your friendship will be a-ok!

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KIS Lesson 73: Values

I choose to be friends with people who hold the same values as me.

I don’t care if that person is starting in their career or 10 years in.

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KIS Lesson 72: Age gap

When you know in your heart that the age gap between the two of you bothers you, it’s best to be honest and tell him.

Probably - you know in your head that an age gap is irrelevant.

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KIS Lesson 71: Cold

When you feel someone is turning cold on you – they are not returning your calls, not texting back, sound distant when they do bother to grace you with their attention – muster every single ounce of strength to not contact them again.

Do not seek a resolution.

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KIS Lesson 70: Smarter

If you’re dating someone and you feel you are the brains of the operation … walk away.

It doesn’t matter if that feeling is accurate or fair. You feel it. There is inequality.

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KIS Lesson 69: Postcode

You can change your postcode.

You can change your job.

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KIS Lesson 68: A long time

Just because you have been friends for a long time, doesn’t mean it has to continue. Duration is not enough for a friendship.

Yes, you both know much about each other and have done many things together. That’s all in the past.

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KIS Lesson 67: Choice

You can’t choose the family you were born into or raised by.

However, if you are an adult in a democratic country - you have chosen the other things in your life. You can choose to remove them, particularly friends:

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KIS Lesson 66: Be a good friend

There’s a guy in your life. He is a good friend. A very good friend. As he has floated in and out of relationships, so have you. You don’t seem to both be single at the same time, ever. You genuinely care about him and are a positive version of yourself when you are with him.

There’s a part of you that thinks if the timing was right, you could both be together – in a romantic way – and have a wonderful life together.

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KIS Lesson 65: Psychiatrist

If the guy you have been dating for the past 6 weeks tells you that his Psychiatrist told him to not date … 6 months ago … it’s best if you walk away. The guy has issues … whether he looks like it or not … or says he does or not … or talks about it or not … just walk.

Don’t try to pare it back to a friendship. You’re only kidding yourself. You’re probably in too deep (emotionally) after 6 weeks, anyway.

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KIS Lesson 64: Learn the lesson

In every relationship that turns sour, the key is to learn the lesson in a mental way and DO something different each and every time in the future.

If we recognise the lesson in our head, but continue to make the same choices and do the same old things .. we will get the same outcomes. Then we kick ourselves for being back where we once were! The frustrating thing is we KNOW we put ourselves back in the same situation because we made the same choices and did the same things. This is NOT learning the lesson.

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